Recovering from domestic violence is never easy. By visiting the Law Offices of Paul M. Gaide website, you’ve already taken the first step. Our team of domestic violence law attorneys can help you plan your next best steps.
Call our location in Fort Collins, CO now to speak to a domestic violence lawyer about your situation.
We know the ins and outs of domestic violence law
Do you know whether or not domestic violence law will protect you? We do. The legal team at the Law Offices of Paul M. Gaide can help you make informed legal decisions about your future. You may be wondering whether or not you should:
File a restraining order
File for divorce
We’ll go over the steps and possible outcomes for each of these scenarios with you.
We offer domestic violence law services in Fort Collins, Colorado and the surrounding area. Schedule a consultation with a domestic violence lawyer by calling 970-999-4654 now.
All too often, domestic violence and domestic abuse permeate marital and non-marital relationships. Counsel at the Law Offices of Paul M. Gaide understands the various components of domestic violence (not just physical abuse) and the cycles of violence to which you may be subjected. While Counsel at the Law Office of Paul M. Gaide are not psychologists, psychiatrist, or therapists, and are not qualified to medically treat you or address your needs from a psychological or other medical perspectives, we are fully capable of assisting you in escaping the immediacy of the abusive behavior and recommending appropriate resources for you to manage the long-term effects of such behavior.
From a simplistic approach, domestic violence and abuse can be viewed as the need of one partner to have power and control over the other. Counsel at the Law Offices of Paul M. Gaide can help you to understand the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors that are used by a perpetrator of domestic violence to establish and maintain control over you, the partner. Very often, one or more violent-physical incidents are accompanied by an array of other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
In addition to physical abuse, types of abuse may include:
Coercion and Threats - Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the partner. Threatening to leave the partner, commit suicide, or report the partner to welfare. Making the partner drop charges. Making the partner do illegal things.
Intimidation - Making the partner afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures. Smashing things. Destroying the partner’s property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons.
Male Privilege - Treating the female like a servant: making all the big decisions, acting like the “master of the castle,” is the one to define men’s and women’s roles.
Economic Abuse - Preventing the partner from getting or keeping a job. Making the partner ask for money. Giving the partner an allowance. Taking the partner’s money. Not letting the partner know about or have access to the family's income.
Emotional Abuse - Putting the partner down. Making the partner feel bad about him/herself. Calling him/her names. Making him/her think he’s/she’s crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating him/her. Making him/her feel guilty.
Isolation - Controlling what the partner does, who he/she sees and talks to, what the partner reads, and where he/she goes. Limiting his/her outside involvement. Using jealousy to justify actions.
Using Children - Making the partner feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass the partner. Threatening to take the children away.
Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming - Making light of the abuse and not taking his/her concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn’t happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior. Saying he/she caused it.
Spiritual Abuse - Demeaning your spiritual/religious choices or beliefs, separating you from your spiritual connection to family/culture, suppressing your spiritual expression, denying you access to your spiritual connections, and wearing down your self-esteem until your "spirit" is gone.
While not universal, domestic abuse and violence often occur in a circular pattern where three phases repeat over and over. Domestic violence is a pattern of abuse in an intimate relationship that escalates over time, and generally includes these three phases:
Abuser starts to get angry
Abuse may begin
There is a breakdown of communication
The victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm
The tension becomes too much
The victim feels like they are 'walking on eggshells'
The abuser may apologize for abuse
The abuser may promise it will never happen again
The abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
The abuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims
The abuser acts like the abuse never happened
Physical abuse may not be taking place
Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
The victim may hope that the abuse is over
The abuser may give gifts to the victim
The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete.
It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the 'making-up' and 'calm' stages disappear.
If you need the assistance of an experienced domestic relations attorney to break away from the circle of violence, contact us for a consultation.